Unstructured Ramblings Of A Reformed Poet

( I saw this somewhere and I had to share it)

I went to the Lord's clinic to have my routine
check-up and it was confirmed that I was ill.

When Jesus took my blood pressure,
He saw that I was low in tenderness.

When He read my temperature,
the thermometer registered 40% anxiety.

He ran an electrocardiogram and found that I needed
several love bypasses since my arteries were blocked
with loneliness and could not provide for an empty heart.

I went to orthopedics because I could not walk by my
brother's side and I could not hug my friends since
I had fractured myself when tripping with envy.

He also found that I was shortsighted since I could not
see beyond the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters.

For all of that, Jesus gave me a free consultation,
thanks to His mercifulness, so once I leave this clinic,
my pledge is to take the natural remedies He has
prescribed for me through His Word of Truth:

Every morning take 1 full glass of gratitude.
When getting to work, take 1 spoon of peace.
Every hour take 1 pill of patience,
1 cup of brotherhood and 1 glass of humility.

When getting home, take 1 dose of love.
When going to bed, take 2 capsules of clear conscience.

I will not give into sadness or desperation for what
I am going through today.  God knows how I feel.  God
knows exactly and with perfection what is being allowed
to happen in my life at this precise moment in time.

God's purpose for me is simply perfect.  He wants to
show me things that only I can understand by living what
I am living and by being in the place where I am now.

The beauty of friendship lies in the eye

Of that one person that makes you smile

So much that you feel you can almost fly

To the uttermost part of the blue sky

Oh what a blessing in disguise

To have a friend money can’t buy

True friendship starts from the heart

Of the ones you can’t break apart

Coz to them it’s a perfect work of art

To have someone when all is torn apart

So they can both cry over a lobster tart

That’s a friend who never departs

Friendship is more than a sailboat

You take only when you need to float

It’s also more than a big bank note

Or the gift of a red cashmere coat

It is more like that musical note

Saying a friend heals a bad sore throat.

There are so many things to love about being Black, and it’s so funny how some blacks take those things for granted but instead look at themselves with disdain. I believe that we Black people need to change our minds about us and begin to embrace the things that are uniquely Black. We have to love those things, while loving ourselves.

Black people are a special and wonderful blend of horrible oppression, faith, hope, creativity, spirituality and unresolved issues. No matter how bad things are, we still have what it takes to make it better.

Haven’t we always?
Yes, and I love that about us.

For all the problems, the ups and downs of being part of the most challenged race on the planet, there is nothing more beautiful than walking, talking and dancing in the sun as Black people. We are the party and everyone wants to attend. It’s time for us to celebrate.

I’d like to celebrate the things that I love about being Black.

Top Ten Things I Love About Being Black:

1.  Melanin: The sun loves us. Melanin protects us from the harmful UV rays and when we absorb them, we are in tune and in time with the earth¹s rotation and the rhythm of the universe. Plus, God gave us our own rainbow in the shades of Africans, from light-bright and damn-near white to Blue-Black and every shade in between. God is an artist and we are the canvas.

2.  Rhythm:  Show me a person who says: "Blacks have natural rhythm" as a putdown and I will show you someone who is jealous because they can’t find the beat. Dance like no one is watching.

3.  Resilience, brothers and sisters: There is no other group of people who has the ugly history carried by Black people, and yet, we still exist and find a way to be happy as well as carry on through ugly conditions, making it look beautiful. Maya Angelou said it best: "And still I rise"

4.  The Black female physiques:  Females of other races go through hell and high water, surgery and the risk of cancer in the sun just to imitate what God gave us naturally--lips and hips, skin and hair, rhythm in the talk and walk and our appeal as deep as Atlantis.

5. The Black man’s walk:  It took years of watching my older brothers and cousins to understand the walk of a man that makes all eyes turn on them when they walk into a room. There’s a rhythmic air of confidence that belongs to my brothers and no matter how hard you work to imitate it, you can’t walk it like a black man does.

6.  Black hair: Dreads, braids and fades are just different and artistic on natural Black hair, and even when we lay our hair down with heat or chemicals, it’s still a beautiful and different thing, because no one can rock relaxed hair like Black women. And no one can rock a bald head like a Black man.

7.  Resourcefulness:  We took the waste products that were tossed to us and made them taste like the food of the Gods. And, many of us have stories of a Black mother who stretched nothing out to make it seem like something that a house full of kids could enjoy and have fond memories about for years.

8.  Black mothers: Stretching food is nothing compared to the feat of stretching love and making Christmas or a birthday special without one store-bought gift. The original mother of the universe stretched her arms and provided love and comfort for an entire race, even when we don’t feel deserving of love. Why do you think Black kids are the most protective of their mothers?

9.  Black dances:  Okay, I will brag about the stepping that has emerged from many African countries to become an international craze. Dance mechanically by the numbers if you want to, but Britney Spears is still regurgitating old half-warmed Janet Jackson moves from the 1980’s and it ain’t half as fly.

10.  Black creativity: Take away school music programs and give us old record collections from previous generations and only Black people could create an entirely new musical style based on our natural rhythms and rhymes. Some Popular black music may be mostly ignorant in its content, but the beats are still banging’ and the underground is developing new lyrical styles and content.

Now, there are at least ten reasons to celebrate being you. Add to the list on your own. Keep them near and dear to your heart whenever anyone tries to say we are anything but a beautiful people. We may not wear the t-shirts anymore, but I still love being Black!

Are you saved?
Well, my bible tells me I’m redeemed not by the things I reveal

But by faith through Jesus, who made me guiltless

That I might no longer walk in shadows, but overshadow

If I try to earn my way to heaven by doing good works,

I am bound to fail because I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH
On my own, I CAN NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH

But God used his Son to save me, Christ died on the cross

So I might feel worthy and be worthy

Get this, if you are saved…

You know it
You show it

You live it

Are you saved?

Salvation is a gift of mercy from God to cleanse our mess

We are saved solely by grace and grace alone

So your friend walks up to you, only to tell you

It doesn’t matter who you believe in, as long as you are sincere

As trendy as that may sound, that is not what the Bible teaches

Yes, you believe that there is one God. You do well

Even the demons believe - and tremble! Obviously that’s not enough

Because Jesus is the only way to heaven, it couldn't be any clearer than that.

Get this, if you are saved…

You confess it

You believe it

You proclaim it

Are you saved?

You say, "Yes, I'm saved

I was nine when I  gave my hand to my pastor and my heart to Jesus

I’m not living for God right now, I admit

But I know I'm saved, because I remember what I did when I was a nine

Who says the Bible uses experience as proof of salvation?

Who says you are saved by something you remember in the past?

Who says it takes a decade to bear good fruit?

Who says that you cannot prove your salvation?

Get this, if you are saved…

You shout it

You witness it

You enjoy it

Download Audio here
Video: Coming soon...

Folks ask me all the time, “what are you going to do when you start dating someone,will you still say I’m single ?”

My response: “Yes!”

“But you won’t be single” they say.

“Yes I will be. You are single until you are married.”

Very few people understand what I mean by this. I’ve said it a thousand times before. Dating is an interview process. Marriage is the real commitment.

Women tend to treat a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship like a marriage and then get hurt when he decides she isn’t the one and to keep looking. Actually, women get defensive, indigent, insulted. Men take a more wait and see approach.

My aunt always told me the best time to find a man is when you have one. “ you got a boyfriend. That’s nice. Keep looking to see if he is Mr right.”

“But auntie, he’s really sweet and fun.”

“Ok, well he can be sweet and fun but he also could be the man that will lead you to your real husband.”

I’m still testing her theory out.

I have a friend who knows a friend- who if judging by the way she treats her relationships has been married and divorced 3 times at the age of 29. Her first “marriage” was to her college sweetheart. She made him dinner on her hot plate. Washed his laundry when he was cramming for finals. Borrowed her dad’s car to help move her bf across the city for his internship and back again. He was headed to Grad School when he decided that it was best he focus his attention to his studies. He thanked her for being a good girlfriend. It lasted 4 years.

“Husband” #2 was from age 23-26. He was a cop, just bought a house and always talked about having kids. She was sure they would really be married one day. Basically she spent 6 out of 7 days at his place and helped him decorate. Started playing house, there was no time for friends unless he was busy and she was clueless when it came to having male friends. The only man, of any kind, in her life was the cop. She caught him cheating on her one night at his house when he told her he was out of town for the weekend.

Her last “marriage” was a quick one. He was a co-worker who liked her. She was so bitter from the failed marriages that she didn’t take him seriously. After a year of playing him, she finally smartened up but it was too late. He strung her along like she had done him.  Two years later she realized she was left empty yet again.

The trouble with my friends friend “the bride” is she treated each boyfriend like a husband when not every man you date is husband material. Same goes for men who treat all women like queens when really some of them are scandalous tricks.

I love to hear women go on and on about “We are in a committed relationship,” when they speak of their boyfriend and how seriously they work at it. That’s all good and well but the real commitment is when you say “I do”. So until I have an engagement ring on my finger…I am single!

I’m sitting here this afternoon thinking about cracked foundations. Probably because there is a repairman upstairs ripping parts of something as we speak. You see, some years ago I rented a house and the owners hid a crack in the kitchen flooring from me until the renting deal was final. When I found it and confronted them they refused to pay for the repair. I eventually let it go and prayed it would never be a problem. I’ll throw a rug over it, I thought. After all, that’s what the previous owners did. Everything was fine until weeks later, the crack began to spread until six tiles were cracked and the problem began to seep out of the kitchen and into the room.

The problem had grown to a place where I could no longer ignore it. It would no longer fit conveniently under a rug, the tile was cracked because the foundation of the house had cracked and the person who originally laid the tile hadn’t put a protective sealant down to prevent the tile from cracking right along with the foundation.

How like life, I thought to myself. And relationships. Sometimes we build relationships right on top of cracked foundations. If I can just hide these cracks, we think to ourselves, I can pretend they aren’t there. Everything is fine until something shakes the foundation and it is proven faulty. The cracks in the foundation result in cracks in the relationship. Sometimes they are repairable. Other times they aren't.

What are some faulty foundations we can build relationships on? Here’s a short list:

▪We want someone cool to like us so we lie about our likes and dislikes to fit in.

▪A cute guy begins showing us attention so we try to appear as someone we’re not to keep him interested.\

▪Our friends at school think being a Christian is lame so we tell them we only go to church because our parents make us.

▪We aren’t allowed to attend certain types of parties so we lie to our parents and say we are spending the night with a friend so we can sneak out and go.

Cracked foundations. Dangerous ground. It’s all just a matter of time before those cracked foundations get rocked and more damage is done.

The thing about a cracked foundation is that it’s a broken foundation. We can’t expect a broken foundation to sustain weight and pressure. When life happens broken foundations only become more broken—unless we put the time and effort it to actually fix the problem instead of trying to hide it.

Do you have any cracked foundations in your life that need repairing? Do you have some relationships in your life that you may need to rethink? Are there new relationships you are in the process of building that need solid foundations?

I would love to hear your story.

This is a new personal series I’m trying out to see if you like it, find it interesting, funny, helpful, whatever. It is no-punches-pulled, 100% ridiculously transparent.

I can’t lie to you.

I’m definitely in a transitional period in my life.  I was even considering the dramatic act of cutting all my hair off, Caesar-style.  My friends would understand right? For some reason, women always turn to the scissors in hopes of “getting a fresh start”. Well, I didn’t cut my hair off BUT…I am moving forward. It’s the season for it, don’t you agree?

While shifting through all of my “issues” I realized something…

Most people like to wear their issues on their sleeves, tormenting themselves and all those who see it. For some reason, we often feel like we have to “fix” everything, even when we know it is beyond repair. This is especially true when it comes to relationships.

Answer the following question honestly:

Have you ever ended a relationship at the exact moment you felt it was over?

Take to the comments section to answer.  I bet 90% will say, no.

The reason: Many of us like to punish ourselves. We like to feel like we have to “stick it out”, “make it work”, etc, blah blah blah.  I’m not saying that you should run at the first sign of trouble but you know when 2 + 2 is no longer = 4. You get that gut feeling in your stomach. You confide in your best friend. You start to look at your partner differently; with disgust, disdain.

A friend had been off and on with his girlfriend of 4 years. Each time we talked about the shortcomings of their relationship it was the same three things:

1 – She wasn’t a good communicator

2 – She wasn’t matured

3 – Her mother controlled her life

[Of course, since this was coming from a friend, I have no idea with her issues with him were.]

Each time she promised to work on things. At first, there would be an improvement: more talk, more head, less references to mommy dearest. Weeks would pass and slowly she would return to her old habits.

Finally, tired of hearing the same story I asked him:  Why are you with her if it’s clear that this is who she is.

Friend: I love her.

Me : Well, let me be the first to tell you, you can love someone and NOT be with them. At some point you 

have to love yourself more and MOVE ON.

Moving on is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.

Unhappy with work, friends, family, a relationship? Accept it for what it is. You can’t fix everything or everyone. More importantly, you shouldn’t suffer or feel like a failure because it didn’t work. Take the lessons you learned, use them to become a better person and…MOVE ON!

My palms started to sweat…my heart started racing, I felt flush….

I started to think more about this theory of actually being open to a relationship with someone and all of a sudden, I didn’t feel so good….

Now, I’m not talking about really getting the runs…because for the record, women don’t do that…we don’t poop, or burp, or fart…

Has that ever happened to you? Has the thought of a relationship ever sent you running, not just from it but maybe running to the nearest bathroom? I think it’s more typical for people to think of the term “relation-shit” as their once good relationship turns bad but what about feeling sick BEFORE you even get to the relationship part?? The more I think about it, the more nervous I start to feel, and slightly nauseous too…

I started to getting flashbacks of my one long relationship, and thought, if I was open to entering one now with someone new, would it be the same?

I consider myself a very courageous person but I believe, courage is the direct result of facing a fear in the first place.  It’s been YEARS since I've been in a relationship. I am truly selective about whom I spend my time with and my next boyfriend will be someone I've considered marrying down the road…That’s how serious I take the “boyfriend/girlfriend” title.

Every time I meet a good guy I try asking the very popular question… “When was your last relationship? I always think about not asking at all. I mean, who really wants to know, even though I am always slightly curious. But when it comes up, all the scenarios starts popping up in my head: “I am divorced, never had a serious relationship, I have 3 children from 3 different baby moms ad so on”

When I started dating at the age of 20, it was easy, interestingly as time went on and as I got older, it became difficult. I guess it’s only the natural progression of life, that people will have had other relationships at my age, and would now probably be a red flag if at this point they hadn’t. Losing me happened rather quickly. I got so caught up in his world that I forgot who I even was…well, let’s face it, at 20 I didn’t know who I was but instead of trying to create myself, I tried to create what he wanted… which in the end I never did a good job of anyway…must have been the inner rebel in me.

My ex and I became more like friends than bf and gf. We never went out on dates once we got comfortable. I am NOT comfortable with comfortable! I want to keep things fresh and special even years from now. That ties into romance. I NEED that. My ex and I didn’t have that.

I’m not really afraid of monogamy, I’m afraid of monotony! I’m afraid, as I see so many couples, as it happened to me, that the “dating” part stops. Next thing you know every single weekend is spent in watching boring dvds, your skin begins to crave for some sun, and you possibly most definitely allow yourself to get FAT! That didn’t just happen to me right? RIGHT?! This shouldn’t happen…but don’t lie, you’ve seen it, and maybe you’ve experienced it, without even knowing its happening. These fears have actually sent me running in the other direction at times because I feel since that one major relationship, I have been happier alone.

In speaking of my one long term relationship, I want to make it clear that my ex was not a bad person. He was a kind and caring person. It just takes so many different people to make up this world and what I needed may not be what someone else needs and that’s why people break up and those same people work better with others. Because I spent years being so involved in his world, I feel these last few years, I have been making up for lost time. Going on adventures he would have never taken me on, and just being happy in ways I couldn’t be with him. The idea of losing that freedom again, scares me to death because so many times you fall in love and not even know what happened…to you.

Falling in love does not scare me. Falling out of love does….Being with the wrong person does. Sometimes I have this reoccurring thoughts that I am being forced to get married. I don’t even know the guy and my parents and family are literally pushing me down the aisle toward him. I am yelling “I don’t love him, I don’t even know him!” and all they keep saying is “It will be fine, it’s OK, you’ll be OK.”…oh and every single time…I’m in some HORRIFIC 70′S wedding dress. YUK! I always come back to reality with my heart racing.

Whenever I think about relationships, my thoughts seem to revert back to how much I love myself and how well I treat myself and how I don’t want to enter into a relationship for all that to stop. Even in over-analyzing for the sake of this blog and thinking about relationships…it’s not just about what the next guy will give to me, I want to make sure I am wonderful to that guy as well. Guys seem so much easier but I want to make sure I give him everything he wants and needs. I’m hoping that’s just God, Love and Faithfulness right?

It all turns my stomach into knots. Committing isn’t the issue; it’s who I become after I do. How do I find the balance? How do I remain aware of how to keep “me” as a priority? I know I eventually want to face this simply because the feeling of being in love is wonderful. I know I can have that feeling. I guess the only thing I can do is be who I would want to be with, in a relationship. Give him everything and hope he wants to do the same with me, not punish him for my past, or judge him for his, and only focus on treating each other well. The biggest obstacle for me is getting to the actual relationship part…which I will in due time…and will possibly buy enough Pepto-Bismol to deal with the side effects of the journey in the meantime.